The Wonders of This Medicine

TEACHER : Why are you late?

AH BENG : Because of the sign.

TEACHER : What sign?

AH BENG : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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TEACHER : Ah Beng, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?

AH BENG : You told me to do it without using tables!

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TEACHER : Ah Beng, how do you spell "crocodile"?

AH BENG : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER : No, that's wrong

AH BENG : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

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TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?

AH BENG : "HIJKLMNO! "!!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?

AH BENG : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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TEACHER : Ah Beng, go to the map and find North America.

AH BENG : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS : Ah Beng!!!!!!

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TEACHER : Ah Beng, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

AH BENG : Me!

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TEACHER : Ah Beng, why do you always get so dirty?

AH BENG : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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AH BENG : Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?

AH BENG: Your name on this report card.

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TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?

AH BENG : Because George still had the axe in his hand?

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AH BENG : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?

AH BENG : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

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TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!

AH BENG : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

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TEACHER : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?

AH BENG : Brotherly love?

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TEACHER : Now, Ah Beng, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

AH BENG : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER : Ah Beng, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

AH BENG : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

AH BENG : A teacher

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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In our daily lives sometimes things we want don't come as we wish, don't turn up as we hope and sometimes or most of the times we get things we don't want anyway. When matter like this happens, don't fret or be disappointed for God creates things to happen with a reason.

A friend once told me: Sometimes God clouds the sun, and later throws us some thunderstorms and lightnings...little did we know that after the tears dry up, God gives us the rainbow for us to see!

Hold on to Surah Insyirah close to your heart. Should you feel your life is getting tougher, believe in His Promise that after every difficulty, you'll see ease to help you thread on your life. Just brace this difficult times with strong faith.

Stay cheerful folks!

Sunshine In My Heart

The above jokes I received from dearest friend are hilarious. I almost fell off my chair when I looked at each one of them. It does recall how cheeky we tend to be when it comes to exams. Cunning some might say. I remembered the last time I went blank for my Add Math paper, I did send one SOS message to my examiner to consider giving 'markah kesian' for my effort of writing the formula... but not to extend of making a fool of myself like how the students answered the above questions....

What were they thinking???? Fooling the examiners? Hahahahaha....

While laughing is good, I think we need to be concerned with the quality of the human capital that we have. They soon will become our intellectual property or protected those of ours.

Is this a clue for the 'Loyar Buruk' term?

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My Updates:

I had received a call from Putrajaya Hospital that the PET SCAN appointment with them will be on the 8th of July. And the nurse informed and advised me that I need to watch my diet during the 2 days prior to the scanning day. She mentioned what food must I avoid and that I must make sure the last food I consume on the scanning day will be by 6am in the morning. I understand that I'm allowed to drink the plain water though the hospital used the term 'fasting' I must do on the 8th of July.

I was reminded too that the examination comes with a charge, and I told the nurse that HKL staff had informed about it and I have allocated the budget aside. I need to be there early since I'm not familiar with the hospital area. Insya'Allah

The chest pains don't come often now. I still experience the fatigue arm but I noted that I might over-exerting my arm and hand while doing the gardening last Saturday. The fact is that I already cannot tolerate seeing my Dragon Flower plants or Heliconias go all over the place... Saturday has become my trimming and pruning the flowers and the potted plants. It's not a chore, but a therapy... The feeling good sensation after you see all the flower plants beautifully trimmed is so rejuvenating. I just like seeing all of 'em clean-cut and trimmed. Nice, so nice.

Yesterday I met D, at the Amcorp Mall. It was good to have met her in person and yes, we spent half of the day chit-chatting and catching up with each other's progresses. I adore this woman for what she has endured. We shared our tribulations and we exchanged glances, smiles and laughter with intermittent looks in the eye that contained tears welling up. The journey is different but the endurance almost the same. We both could feel each other. We have never known each other but the empathy and compassionate is strong. Yesterday was like we had known each other for many years. Like we are two old friends catching up the many years we are separated... I'm grateful, we meet here in the blog world and I actually have known her late husband from the Matriculation years. Too bad she couldn't stay long as she had other things to do. Hopefully we'll meet again. Thank you D and Thank you Allah for permitting us to meet. I consider moments like that as another rezeki.

The business was good yesterday. Alhamdulillah. We sold the one and only big truck, our favourite, our Mack Truck, that we bought from Franklin Mint while we were in the States. I told MH for many moons that we need to let go as the house doesn't have enough space for such a big truck. And I'm happy the buyer is an Executive Director for a public-listed company that builts the body of big trucks. I know, he'll love this rare collection as much as I love it. He did have a good persuasion skill though....

Another buyer bought 3 Ferrari models and a book on Ferrari. While another one missed another 3 types of Ferrari models as all were grabbed by another collectors. Well, he told us he made a mistake, he should have put down a sum of money as a faith money before he adjourned to make his rounds and to later collect the cars from us. We have experienced people booking for a few models but failed to collect them or pay for the cars. So we consider those sincere will put down some deposit to indicate that they are serious enough with their words...

It's sunshine in the morning. And cloudy in the mid-day. And maybe it'll be raining later of the day. Yet, in my heart, it's a bright sunny feeling... Warm, fuzzy and lovely. I am happy and I hope you are happy too...

(This is my 200th entry... WOW! Never thought could have written these many entries... Alhamdulillah)

Words Women Normally Use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. 'Five minutes' is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's! Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for
your mistake.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.


My Update:

I'm feeling really okay almost 99% over with this flu thingy. Alhamdulillah. My feeling is still sore with what just mentioned over the news to us. Really feel like we are being punished for the recent outspoken act in the last PRU12. I maybe wrong, but that's what I'm feeling. I know I have to be grateful, I still breathe with free air...hopefully it will not be charged soon. But to treat us the Rakyats like this is really manslaving us and eventually manslaughtering us.

The news is stressing me and stress is not good for me so that's why I include the famous phrases we women normally used...I need to cheer myself up. Hopefully you too are cheered up.

To those men out there (who about to learn having a relationship), this can be a guideline to use. To others, use it to laugh with you loved ones...hehehehe...

Have a wonderful weekend dear readers!

A Matter Of Affairs

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rubbed them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'

'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'


The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, 'Not this time!'


The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. 'I have to show you something you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead?!?!'


The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue.' she replied. 'The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too.'

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing.'


The 5th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. 'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

'One Cent?' the man thought. He glanced at the menu and asked, 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?'

'A nickel,' the barman replied.

'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

The bartender replied, 'Upstairs, with my wife.'

The man asked, 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'

The bartender replied,'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'


The 6th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, 'I have something I must confess.' '

There's no need to,' his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know, I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'

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My Update:

The flu seems so hard to go away. I am still sneezing often and the running nose sometimes block the nose making the voice hoarse and becomes husky. As usual, when I'm hit with flu, I will the first one to get it and the last one to recover from it. But I really feel fine because it's just a flu. As long as I'm not bed-ridden and not weakened by the flu, I'm okay. It's not often that I got sick with flu so I don't really complain about it. I went to the National Cancer Society Malaysia last Friday to register for the Relay For Life Event but in the end we all didn't go because MH said I'm not okay yet. He feared that my health condition worsened because we may be caught in the rain. Though I really want to be there with them all, but I feel I need to listen to MH.

Actually, I see this yearly event as something boosting for me when I could see so many survivors showing the good fighting spirit they embrace since having cancer. Last year I met the little girl featured in the TV advertisement and it was an emotional moment. She's so young but her spirit is so big. She's a fighter and seeing her I know many patients and survivors want to emulate her too. God bless Aniza, the little girl.

It was also a plan to meet KakPi at One Utama. The plan didn't materialise because I overlooked the time of the event, I thought it was a morning event until I went back to her blog last Friday and saw it as p.m...Who wants to do an event as early as 7.30am? Duhhhh!

Yesterday, I was at the Amcorp Mall doing the flea market business as usual. The business was brisk with our regular customers dropping by. Alhamdulillah. I met someone I knew from the blogging scene. He brought along his wife and we clicked right away. It was a good day despite the cat-and-dog rain outside. My boys and MH were introduced to a guy whom I called the 'MatchBox Ardent Collector'. He has the old collections of Match Box cars as old as the 60's. Impressive! AdamZ compared his Hotwheel collections with a few collectors too that we all called the Hotwheelers. They exchanged collections and plan to meet again next week. So he is introduced to the barter system.

Where money is needed for him to pay the 'toy', I asked Adamz how is he going to get it because I won't be paying for the extra toy. That will be creating another hole in the purse as it's not budgeted. I want him to know that the monthly allowance stays as it is. And with a 'slumber' face he answered: How about you pay me RM5 if Abang lipat (fold) the socks and underwears? And RM10 for my clothes and Abang will put in nicely in the wardrobe too... He offered the service, I smiled at him and said: It's a deal. So... no work, no pay. No pay, no toy eh? he just nodded. Wait a minute... I'm not abusing labour here okay? I just want him to understand the meaning of hard-earned money and the fact that to get something extra, he needs to show his determination of getting it...

So folks, enjoy the rest of the day and the jokes too. To those who hate Monday, hopefully the jokes put the Monday blues away. Take care y'all.

Sendaloka Sejenak...

This joke I received quite sometimes and after several times re-reading it, it still crack a smile on my face... and today when I felt nothing I could do right (errr..have you felt like you woke up at the other side of the bed?)- this is something like that or call it bad hair day lah!

This was believed to be part of the history of Malacca that was secretively taken out from the history books by the Portugese during the invasion period.

1908: Alfonso de la boorg menyampaikan hasratnya kepada Raja Portugis untuk meluaskan pegaruhnya ke Asia Tenggara (Melaka pusat perdagangan Asia Tenggara ketika itu) dan juga laluan penting perdagangan Timur Barat. Raja Portugis bersetuju untuk menyediakan kemudahan bala tentera (158 biji kapal, 15300 (anggaran) bala tentera

1909: Portugis menghantar perisik ke Melaka untuk mengetahui keadaan kekuatan pertahanan di sana

Oct 1910: Alfonso berjaya menawan melaka setelah berhempas pulas melawan 5 pahlawan Melayu terhandal (Hang Tuah, Hang Lekir, Hang Lekiu, Hang Jebat dan Hang Kasturi). Ini adalah mimpi ngeri bagi pihak Alfonso, untuk menawan Melaka serta berlawan dengan 5 Hang bersaudara, mereka perlu mendapat askar tambahan setelah 15000 askarnya terkorban dalam pertempuran selama 6 hari itu dengan 5 Hang bersaudara..akhirnya dapat juga menawan Melaka setelah hampir kecewa dan putus asa...

1912: Setahun 12 bulan kemudian Alfonso ingin meluaskan kekuasaannya ke Kedah dan P.Pinang, yang ketika itu adalah pusat pegeluaran tebu untuk gula rantau ini,...

Feb 1912: Alfonso menghantar perisik ke Kedah dan Pulau Pinang untuk mengetahui kekuatan bala tentera di sana (Kedah dan P.Pinang) mengikut sejarah, perisiknya telah ke kedai kopi sekitar Kedah dan Pulau Pinang untuk mendapat segala maklumat yang diperlukan...

Seminggu selepas FEB 1912: Perisik balik ke Melaka untuk memberitakan hasil risikan kepada Alfonso.

Dibawah adalah perbualan percakapan antara perisik-perisik dengan Alfonso yang selama ini cuba disembunyikan dalam buku sejarah:

Perisik No 1, 2 dan 3: Selamat pagi tuan (sambil bertabik, serentak)

Alfonso: selamat pagi

Perisik 1: Begini lah tuan, lupakan saja niat tuan untuk menawan Kedah dan Pulau Pinang

Alfonso: Kenapa kuat sangat kah mereka itu..? ( dengan nada marah dan bongkak)

Perisik 2: Untuk menawan Melaka yang mempunyai 5 pahlawan terhandal Hang Tuah, Hang Jebat, Hang Kasturi, Hang Lekir dan Hang Lekiu pun kita kehilangan hampir 15000 bala tentera, inikan pula kita nak menawan kedah dan P.Pinang yang mempunyai beribu-ribu hang..

Perisik 3: Betul tu tuan...antaranya hang sihat, hang gila, hang buat apa, awat hang , bapak hang, mak hang, tok hang, adik hang, hang apa habag, hang pi mana, hang nak p mana, hang singgah dulu dan banyak lagi hang ada kat sana...macammana ni tuan habihlaa kita..

Mendengar hasil risikan itu Alfonso pun takjadi la nak pi serang Kedah dan Pulau Pinang disebabkan pengalamannya sebelum ini bersama 5 pahlawan Melayu Melaka amat ngeri......ini kan pula nak berhadapan beribu ribu hang kat Kedah dan Pulau Pinang maka terselamatlah negeri Kedah dan Pulau Pinang....

Hahahahaha....

Happy Labour Day!

Tomorrow we celebrate Labour Day, in some places it's also known as the May Day. Labour day is our day. So don't work on that day. Rest. Take a break though it's only a day. And while you are thinking about what to do on Labour Day, here are some anecdotes to digress from the heavy stuff I'm always into...happy holiday to all.

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Ahmad died in a fire and his body was so badly burnt that the morgue needed someone to identify the body. They called up his two best friends, Ah Beng and Muthu. Ah Beng went in first and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Ah Beng said,"Wah, he's very barbecued like 'char siu'. Please roll him over, and I will tell you whether if he's my friend Ahmad or not."

The mortician rolled the body over and Ah Beng looked at his ass and immediately said, "No-lah, that isn't Ahmad."

The mortician was puzzled but didn't say anything. He then went and got Muthu to inspect the body.

Muthu looked closely and said, "Yes, it is true he's burnt very badly, but roll him over and I'll see if he's my friend Ahmad."

Again the mortician rolled the body over and Muthu looked down at the ass and said, "Oh thank goodness, this is not Ahmad!!"

The mortician was extremely puzzled, and unable to stand it any longer he asked, "Okay, you have to tell me now - how can you and Ah Beng tell whether it is Ahmad just by looking at the ass?"

Muthu replied, "It's simple really. Well… you see, Ahmad had two assholes!"

"What?!!" the mortician said with disbelief, "He had two assholes?!!"

"Oh yes! Everyone in Penang Road knows this because every time the three of us go out, people always say, "Here comes Ahmad with the two assholes."

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Ah Beng and Ahmad were excited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the ignition.

Realizing the mistake, Ah Beng asked, 'Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it.'

'No, that won't work' answered Ahmad. 'People will think we're trying to break in.'

Then Ah Beng suggested, 'What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?'

'No,' said Ahmad. 'People will think we're too dumb not to use a coat hanger.'

The kan cheong Ah Beng shouted, 'we'd better think of something fast. It's starting to rain and the sunroof is open!'

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Ah Beng ordered a pizza and the waitress asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

Ah Beng replied: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

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Ahmad: "Oh, look at the dead bird."

Ah Beng looked skyward and said "Where, Where got?"

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A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother-he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, DeNephew.

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To impress his girl friend, Ah Beng took her to a very chicky Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.

"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That’s the owner."

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Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one.

"Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid. If you don't believe me I'll show you."

He called his driver Ah Beng over and said, "Ah Beng, here is $10 note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes". To which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! Right away, Sir!" and rushed off to the Showroom.

The rich man then turned to his friend and said, "See I told you he was stupid."

The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid."

And he called his driver, Ahmad."Ahmad, go home now and check to see if I'm at home. " To which Ali said, "Yes Sir! Right away, Sir!" and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."

Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooooooo stupid. He gave me $10 and asked me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes.....Doesn't he know that today is Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!"

Ali replied, "You think your boss is stupid? My boss is worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home... He got handphone what, can just call up to check lah, bodoh!!!"

Prescriptions of Good Mood

It is noted that laughter is the best medicine and of course can spread the positive vibes in us (as long as we know how to control it, eh) you know, be careful too when you roll on the floor, have your eyes open when you laugh so that you won't roll on furniture or knock yourself....

Or if these jokes I found in my folders are not funny enough, hopefully they crack a smile on your face...

Prescription #1

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe.

As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you,and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives hima pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God saves the queen!" and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The NewYorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over-the stomach,the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over,it's horrible.

The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???"

The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, asshole!"

Prescription #2

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window and says "I want to open a damn checking account."

The astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of languagein this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problematic customer.

They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"

"I see," says the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?"

Prescription #3

A heart specialist doctor died and they're having his funeral. The coffin was placed in front of a huge heart. When the priest finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside, then the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing!

Priest: "Why are you laughing?"

Mourner: "I was thinking about my own funeral"

Priest: "What's so funny about that?"

Mourner: "I'm a gynecologist."

Prescription #4

Bartender looks down to the end of the bar and sees a guy with his head down who hasn't touched his drink for over a half an hour. He heads over to talk to him.

Bartender: "Hey pal, is something wrong?"

The Guy: "Yeah,... I'm really depressed"

Bartender: "Why, what's the matter?"

The Guy: "I caught my wife in bed with my best friend"

Bartender: "Wow, that's horrible. What did you do?"

The Guy: "I kicked her out of the house, sent her packing, it's over"

Bartender: "That's pretty drastic, what did you do to your best friend?"

The Guy: "I sat him down...tied him up...looked him straight in the eye...and said..." "Bad Dog! Bad Dog!"

..... There you go... it's an exercise to your face muscle to stay youthfull...

Happy day and stay happy folks!

Tongue-Twisters

The FaceBug - Penang Butterfly Farm

How fast can your tongue be? Let's check it out....

Twister #1
Peter bought a butter, the butter Peter bought was bitter.
So Peter bought a better butter, to make the bitter butter better.

Twister #2
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Twister#3
Which witch wished which wicked wish?

Twister#4
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Twister#5
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore, I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

Twister#6
A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!" So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Twister#7
Betty Botter had some butter, but, she said, "This butter is bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. I need a bit of better butter that would make my batter better. So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So it was better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

Twister#8
A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

Twister#9
Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.

Twister#10
A bitter biting bittern bit a better brother bittern,
And the bitter better bittern bit the bitter biter back.
And the bitter bittern, bitten by the better bitten bittern, Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, back!"

Twister#11
Mr. See owned a saw. And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!

Twister#12
Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep. The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south. These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack; sheep should sleep in a sack.

So how do you find those twisters? They twist your tongue or not? Arghhhhh.... (I can't say, my tongue is twisted!)