CT Scan Result

No words can describe the overwhelming gratitude as I heard the Oncologist said that the cancers in the liver have shrunk greatly. This time as she showed me the result by comparing the films of the recent and the previous one, she said: Alhamdulillah, I am so happy Dalilah!

I wiped my face as my lips trembled uttering the gratitude to God. MH who was with me at that time was happy too. All this is the proof and sign that Allah listens to our prayers, yours and mine. This is a sign that He loves us no matter how our situation and condition is.

God mentioned in the Qur'an that If we remember Him, He'll remember us. I always mention this in my talk that if we walk to God, God will run to us... that is an analogy I always use to indicate the speed of Allah's love to us.

The doctor mentioned that I can now continue with the 5th cycle of the chemo. The full blood count was also very good. I'll start having the Xeloda tomorrow morning, 4 pills in the morning and 3 pills at dinner time.

The cancer marker test also have gone down. Even though it is still far from the safest line (normal is 31) as it is now 59.6 and the last one was 60.7, I took the news as one milestone too. One indicator that it is going down.

My oncologist was happy to see I don't get affected so much with chemo drugs. The darkened skin is not a big issue, her concern is the chapped and cracked skin and palms as many have experience that as the bad side effect. That is an indication, if we seek help from Allah to ease us, He'll ease us.

I am thankful for all these. To be able to have the insight and see the blessings that Allah gives in my trying times. True as Allah mentioned in Surah Ar-Rad verse 28: Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the rememberance of Allah; for without in the rememberance of Allah, do hearts find satisfaction (Tafseer Abdullah Yusuf Ali).

I told my Mom and Dad the good news. They are all happy. I told my boys, and my little one shout jubilantly and hugged me: Yeayyy... this is good news. Alhamdulillah. I'll continue praying Mom so it will be completely gone. Then he shouted at his brother: Abang, kanser Mommy dah kecut... kita doa banyak ye bang, Allah dengar doa kita... (Brother, Mom's cancer cells have shrunk, we must continue praying a lot, Allah listens to our prayers).

This is a happy news. So whatever I have practise I must continue doing. Total submission to God, find peace and deeper faith, more greens, more positivity, more happiness.

"Ya Allah, aku bersyukur dengan nikmat dan hikmah yang Kau beri dari dugaan besar ini. Aku mohon dengan rahmatMu, Kau berilah pertolongan bagi setiap kesukaran dan permasalahanku. Jadikan aku hambaMu yang sentiasa mendambakanMu. Jauhkan aku dari riyak takbur dan tinggi diri bagi setiap bahagia yang Kau beri. Aku mohon keampunanMu, aku mohonkan kesembuhan dariMu... Kau rahmati dan berkati semua yang telah mendoakanku, membantuku hanya Kau yang mengetahui setiap keikhlasan yang tersisip...Kau kabulkan doaku ini ya Tuhan yang Maha Mengasihi... Amiin Ya Robbal Alamin."

I am blessed to have had all of you, your willingness to walk with me, help me get up in my down time, pray for me and take all efforts to ease my burden. Dearest brothers and sisters, words can't still describe my thankfulness... the least I can do is to have you all in my prayers for the continued blessings and love to be bestowed upon each on of you....

Thank you for being the needed shoulders...