Livestrong: Living The Word!

Yesterday was a the CT Scan day. Just the test. And I still don't know about the result. Not until next month. That's how long the queue for the report writing in the Diagnostic and Imaging Department. But they already alerted me that should the image in the CT Scan films looks alarming, they will proceed with my report first so they could pass it to the Surgical Department (SOPD) for further action. This is the time when you wish: don't jump the queue, stay in line!

In fact, the nurse in SOPD had mentioned the same thing to me. With Hospital Kuala Lumpur (HKL) or any general hospital, I think, the pattern is the same. If nothing is worrying, then they will not call you in early, you wait until your next check up time. But if it's otherwise, they'll call you early. Even though they will not give you the panic voice over the phone, you can sense it is not a good news.

So here we go again, in the waiting line. And keeping the hope and pray high.

What happened yesterday? I was asked to fast 6 hours prior to the scanning. And after registering myself, I was called to a corner where an attending doctor was seated. She needed to find my vein and started looking at the back of my hand and below my inner elbow. The right hand can't be used because of the chemo-port surgery and placement. So she tried with my left hand. The poking to find the vein at the back left hand was a failure. She tried at the arm and thank God, she found one there. This scenario is common because my veins have mostly collapsed due to the chemo treatment. I am getting more phobia with this process actually, so you can imagine the utterance of zikirs and prayers I had... terkumat-kamit!

The pokings, even though painful, were considered nothing as compared to the more intensed pain I had endured. So despite the painful sensation I still smiled to the nurses standing around the doctor. They said I was brave. Hahaha...No, that's not because I wanted to show that I was brave, but because she had found the vein and that meant I didn't have to undergo other tests while my hand and arm were already swollen. Then she gave me a bottle of saline water, yellow in colour...can't remember the name written on the bottle but I noted the warning sign on it that stated: for irrigation only. not for injection. And oh, she passed me a straw too and I asked her: I have to drink this? She smiled and said: Oh Yes, all of it and I preapred it just for you, so I would feel bad if you don't finish it... (She said it like she preapred for me the most delicious beverage, you imagine...)

I took the bottle and looked at it. It looked like urine and I smiled it. Thank God, it didn't smell like one! I put in the straw and with 'Bismillah' I sipped the saline water. Eeeeeiiiuuuu... it was bitter, my God! So my eyes and facial expresssion played their roles. Some nurses had watched me and smiled broadly when they saw how I reacted to drinking that yellowish fluid. What was I thinking, it wasn't some kind of juice. Of course it won't taste good! I told my mind to think like it was some yellow drink. Was it easy to swallow? Nope. Not at all. In fact I almost vomitted at one time. Hahaha...

Then they asked me to change my dress and gave me the white gown. And I was ushered to a room where a CT Scan machine was made available for me. A nurse asked me to straighten my left hand as she wanted to put the drip in. The she mentioned that she will inject a medicine in it. As the medicine went into the body, I felt a burning sensation in my throat, face and there a tingling sensation between cold and hot moving downwards to my leg. At one point I felt I wanted to pee... And I was so worried that I peed so I forced my mind to do some difficult multiplication memorisation. Hahaha what number did I choose? Of course, the number 13! Why? I don't know... after 41 going 42 years of living, I still find multiplication of 13 is the most difficult... Actually, it did help the mind off the worrying subject... If you think you wanted to pee, you would pee...

In almost 15 minutes all process was over. As they pulled me up, I asked one of the nurses... was it normal to feel like wanted to pee... she said: Oh yes.. and we have cases where patient peed and feceated too... I am sorry for those who could not help themselves...

I was asked to flush the medicine out by drinking lots and lots of plain water. Was I okay after that? Not at all. I felt like my first day of chemo. The head got dizzy, the throat felt like vomitting, the body felt unwell. I was sorry to those who texted me yesterday because I replied those text only this morning. I was not up to it my dear.

Today, I feel a lot better. The sad button is off again. Yesterday MH bought something to ease my back pain and a rugby jersey. What that rugby jersey got to do with my pain? Hahaha.. nothing, it cheered me up as I like wearing one. As we walked, I sneaked my hand into his elbow and gave him the kissing pout: darling, I love you with or without the jersey!...

I am blogging from the Amcorp Mall. Feeling good sitting next to MH who is busy attending to his clients. And the pains are mild too.. very very mild. Alhamdulillah. MH said, we'll do the business only on Saturday and Sunday we will have our outing time as part of spending our time together. I like the idea. The boys love it.

I thank all of you. The visits to my humble abode in this blogspot home and Facebook, the texts, emails, prayers, concerns are appreciated. Though I hardly reply each of you, I took all comments with a heartfelt appreciation. The support is needed and welcomed.

Have a great weekend, folks..